Rediscovering how to have fun together is one of the best ways we know to rebuild connection and love--and spice up your the romance in your relationship.
What we've discovered about typical relationships is that most of the time we have fun as a couple in the early stages and then we get "serious."
Somewhere along the way, some or all of the
fun, romance, and excitement gets sucked out of the relationship-- especially if there's a situation where trust gets violated.
What we're talking about here is the time or
point in your relationship when things are no
longer easy or when you start to notice and
focus on the negative or less desirable
aspects of each other. You might even find
yourself wondering what happened.
Of course there's a lot more to regaining a more connected relationship than just having fun together. It's not a magic cure-all but it is part of the equation to create connection instead of the disconnection that mistrust brings.
In our relationship, we're no longer newlyweds and not only do we still have a great deal of passion, love, intimacy and connection between us but we still enjoy each other's company and have a great deal of fun together.
One thing we can tell you from personal experience is that having fun is important and it's something you don't want to lose.
If fun is something that seems to have faded a bit and you'd like more in your relationship...
Here are some ideas that we want to share with you about how you can use "fun" to build more trust, passion, love and connection...
1. Remember what you did when you were first dating and do it again. Try romantic dinners, a walk in the park, a surprise bunch of flowers or phone calls to say 'I love you' during the day.
The key is to spend time together and make
your relationship a priority. Don't let spending time with the kids, although good for your family, be a substitute for the two of you to have fun together.
2. In the midwest, we have a restaurant chain called "Johnny Rockets," complete with 1950's, 60's and 70's ambience and jukebox. If you have something like that in your area, whether you like the food or not, drop in and play the songs that you used to love.
3. Act like kids. Do some silly things like visit a park and swing on the swings or do something that you used to do as a kid like playing jump rope or hop scotch.
4. Rent silly movies that make both of you laugh. There's always a comedy section in dvd rental stores. Visit it together and pick out a few, along with some popcorn.
5. Do some activity together that you used to
love to do and haven't for awhile--or maybe
something that you've always wanted to try
together.
Today we went to the zoo and a couple of weeks ago we went bowling together. There are usually plenty of chances to laugh doing these kinds of activities if you don't take them seriously.
Take the competition out of any game if you
want to build trust and connection. Just let
the activity be about having fun together.
6. Play a guessing game by writing words
with your finger on each other's backs. Try
to guess what the other person wrote. Then
give each other foot massages while you
watch one of the funny movies.
We hope our ideas got your creative juices going and you are beginning to think about
what having more fun together might mean
to you.
This week, you and your partner make
individual lists of what fun means to each of you.
Then, start doing the things on your lists. Take turns and try new things. Actually schedule them in on your calendar.
Make sure that there's no pressure and no
drama. Just have it as your intention to have
fun--nothing more, nothing less.
These are just a few things that can get you
started thinking about how you can have more fun and romance in your relationship.
When you continue to do these kinds of things on a regular basis, we think you'll love the positive changes that can happen for you.
As we like to say-- everything is a choice in life and having fun is a choice that always creates better relationships and a better life experience.
By Susie and Otto Collins
